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Sunday, February 22, 2009

Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan


Jagshemash! Family retardation and sex within the family is not considered funny in America … and anywhere of course! LOL! I chuckle every time this movie enters my mind, and of course I laughed like hell the first time I watched in it DVD (not from cinema). It’s too original with unadulterated plot, side-splitting scenes and … *chuckle* *chuckle*

Kazakhstan…a beautiful country I believe, having those cool mountains and lakes as seen on the movie …and the adorable town Kuzcek. After being introduced to the town mechanic, the town rapist and his sister, Borat is on a mission to visit the US of A to learn things more about the nation’s culture along with his producer, Azamat. But then the mission went unlikely as he fell in love with Pamela Anderson when he saw her on TV then later convinced his producer to go to California instead to locate and marry her.

On the way to California, Borat met different kind of people from politicians, hip-hoppers, homosexuals, evangelists and even a prostitute. His journey made him understand what the country has to offer, the realities and experienced it by him self and not just through scheduled interviews and meetings as planned. And what did he learn that would benefit his country Kazakhstan? Nothing. Haven’t been in America yet I already concluded that it’s no superior country among the others; they also have their own hardships and good days to deal with, just like the rest. Culture adaptation is not that easy to embrace, as for American culture is for Americans just like Asians for Asian culture.

He went back home along with a new wife and an I-pod. But he also brought with him a lesson that he learned during his stay in the USA, the ups and downs…the fight with his producer, and especially the fact that he just can’t put a woman on a sack because he wants to marry her. So sad there is no sequel for this!

Saturday, February 21, 2009

If Only


Sniff, sniff…tissue please … I mean the whole box!! *Sobs*

Yes, this movie made me cry even on the fourth time I watched it…really! I’ve seen many love stories coated with some fantasies but this one made me feel like ... I’ll cry again the next time I watch it. It’s a London set-up story about two lovers living together and having a good time until a tragedy came in and that left the man in dreadful pain as his girlfriend died of car accident.

Tagline: “He loved her like there was no tomorrow”. Was it a premonition? Or another bit of fantasy that made Ian correct things in order to save his girlfriend’s life from a certain death … in exchange of his? This is one good love story that tells everyone to appreciate people in our lives while they’re still there for us, and it’s terribly regretful if we lose them without telling how important they are with too much remorse in our hearts.

He was given a second chance to correct things. In less than 24 hours before he knew Samantha will meet her fate, he did everything to show her how much he appreciate, love and support her. This made Samantha feels strange somehow because for all she knew, Ian isn’t really like that and she even believes she loves him more than he does. In few minutes before the time will meet the end for Samantha, Ian did something that changed everything, he sat himself to where his girlfriend should be.

The end of it Samantha left sorrowful after losing Ian, without knowing that he took a fate that is supposed to be hers. They have been separated but somehow there are neither laments nor regrets to consider anymore, just untainted love.

sniff…

Return of the Jedi


I’m a big fan of this James Cameron saga… and the force is still with me after 26 years. This is actually the last installment of Anakin Skywalker’s love and battle story that was shown in cinema just right after I received my grade school diploma, and now I’m working and enjoying the recently regressed episodes of this film.

When Anakin was still young, he was already sensed differently by some Master Jedis but was considered a danger as well by the others because of his remarkable attitude …so emotional. Don’t correct me on this, he really was! He’s a gifted boy at his early age, easily flares-up, quickly fell in love with a woman, a mama’s boy, a devoted but insane lover … and lastly, the best father of all.

And who says Luke is the star in this film? Not even Han Solo or Princess Lea, they just appeared in the last (first?) 3 episodes but Anakin was in it all the time and the season really evolved in him. From being a boy mechanic, a Jedi apprentice, a Jedi warrior, an evil Darth Vader and later ended-up as a plain father who weren't able to stomach seeing his own son electrocuted by the Sith emperor.

Let’s say, he wasn’t that bad after all. He could have done some terrible mistakes by selling his own soul to the dark side just to save his girlfriend’s life but at the end, he still did the right thing to straighten his past boo-boo. This movie somehow made me believe that anyone can change in time. No matter how nasty or unlikely an attitude is, time can change anything and anyone. Well of course it just ticked on the right situation if the person decides to change.

The Forgotten


I don’t like this movie… but then I’ll go a bit further and share what disappointed me here. It’s about a devastated mother who lost her son and grieved for a year and everyone around her thinks she’s insane including her husband. She even went to see a shrink to help her recover from her miseries and yet only to give tips on how to deal with hallucinations. This persistent mother is Telly.

With some evil alien who bumped into the middle of the story that somehow gave answers to Telly’s search for her lost son, but then…where is this dude came from? And even her shrink who’s been convincing that she’s inventing a son in her thoughts knows this unexplained character. They should have told the viewers from the start about these experimenting people who suck anyone from the sky testing humans on “who easily forgets … mommy or daddy?”

Tagline: “You'll Never Forget the Ones You Love”. These two parents, Telly and Ash, who both lost their son and daughter in a mysterious plane crash worked together when they realized something wrong is happening around. But what made Ash forgot he has a daughter and it was Telly who made him remember everything? Does it mean that a mommy doesn’t easily forget but a daddy does? I think so…based on my own experience but not applicable for all I guess.

This is how I simply understand this...this… ok let’s call this a movie for Julian Moore’s sake. If not for the reason she appeared in one of Hannibal Lecter saga, I would surely mock this flick. And mostly, I didn't drop a jaw nor a piece of popcorn when I watched it. This film is soon to be forgotten I think...and it does already.

Monday, February 2, 2009

Wall-E


A robot love story … actually not really. I can say this movie tells something more than emotions developed by squeaking and bleeping robots. It is more of a warning for over-consumption in this world that might end up all of us residing in space someday. And also, please watch on your diet, you can’t just sit the whole day in your life and everything you do is chat with people on screen and anything comes to you automatically, laziness it is. Well actually I’ve been seeing these nowadays; people are getting big with all the junk they eat and not stretching a limb to make them fit or sweat at all. A movie of the only surviving robot fixing all the trashes in the world along with his pet, cricket; enjoying a collection of plastic spoons and forks, lighters, rubix cube and a Hello Dolly musical video. Actually his life is quite settled already until this smart, specially designed robot Eve came to the world to look for a sign of life particularly a plant. I love the scene when the song “La Vie en Rose” was played, sweet! It could be a sign of true love, between robots? Oh c’mon don’t give me those craps.

Ok, ok it’s a joke for us but it could be an abstraction of what real love is. When you finally found that one; you will definitely do everything, patiently wait, follow that person to a place you’ve never been, and even get struck by a lightning several times. Awww, that is fatal. Ok we’re not robots but let’s just note what Wall-E exemplified in this movie. Not collecting garbage of course, not just the love, but his hopeful attitude to go back to earth even when Eve lost her interest to do so. I won’t forget the scene when Wall-E put his thread on M-O’s face that made the latter freaked out!

Untraceable


@$#*&!!! I don’t know why I have to put this on my blog, this is actually the sickest of all sick movies I've ever seen in my life! After watching this flick I found myself cursing all the fake gods and goddesses of middle earth, an old neighbor who took my cat and my pressure went 220/170 in spite of my cholesterol is below average! Whew! I need a paper bag!

“Tagline: A cyber killer has finally found the perfect accomplice: You.” No way! How can I be an accomplice if my ISP has to do the first thing not to make such stupidity be online? Could it be human nature to enjoy watching people getting tortured? This is sick indeed. Just the thought of seeing someone I know getting killed online would surely make me faint. This movie is all about a heartless cyber killer with hardened-stomach online visitors who enjoys torture scenes including those in the FBI’s. And what the hell it can’t be traced? What technology are they running? Way back from the 60’s? This movie I think is one nice-try copying the Silence of the Lamb stuff.

Oh c’mon, who can be worst than Hannibal Lecter as a movie villain? Ok Diane Lane is fine but the role isn’t compromising, being Unfaithful still works on her I think. How could I possibly know the email addresses of those who created this plot to send tons of angry comments without me being traced? Sending a message like “hey you talent less freaks, you’re a disgrace to yourselves” or “did u guys ran out of idea to make a new decent film?! Make a career change, try selling umbrellas!”

Grrrrr…

Scent of a Woman


Whoa! Ok that’s where I got the expression, a movie 17 years ago and won an Oscar for Best Actor and of course, Al Pacino. I watched this movie over and over again. Imagine two unlikely strangers, met by circumstances that made a lasting change to each other’s lives, in just few days of being together. Lt. Frank Slade is blind and retired, planning to end-up his life but suddenly a young man named Charlie came into his life when he was hired to look after him. Charlie is having a school dilemma of his own that time, but the opportunity of having Frank gave him not just a person to look after but a man he has to look up to.

I was too fascinated with the taglines in this movie… there are a lot to mention indeed. But one of my favorite is when Frank is about to approach a girl who happens to be alone in her table and said, “The day we stop lookin', Charlie, is the day we die”. I believe this. For me, this phrase could mean that anyone should move on with their lives no matter how much failed relationships or heartache they had. Nothing would stop us to become hopeful again in finding new one and start again … start of another headache! We might become skeptic but still we must revive trust in all situations, for every relationship has its beginning and its end, but the hope must not. Another tagline I took note is, “When in doubt ... fuck”. This is more about risk taking I think. Yes Frank said this to his cat before leaving with Charlie, but anyone can be like a cat knowing all the curiosities in life will only have an answer if we did make a try. The ending was so great and pleasing. And of course, the tango!

A movie of two unlikely people with poignant feelings but later healed and brought a lasting change in just few days of being together. Very inspiring and magnificent!

Step-Up 2


Ok, was it the Low? Or that cool boom-boom heartbeat-like style they had on their dance that made me so insane in this movie? I know this is better than the first one, and not because the leading character is a female, but this one tells the ugliness and beauty of friendships. When Andie lost her time being with her street-dance friends because she needs to focus on her studies, everything went unlikely. They refused her and hurt some new friend she has. She eventually found new ones, not the popular material in the campus, odd personalities somehow but still they possess the ability to dance like her and they created a team.

Tagline: “It's not where you're from. It's where you're at”. My favorite relationship Andie has with her friends is with Moose. It’s very hard to find a friend who always supports you in everything you do. Understanding, caring, no malice, and of course shares the same interest like you …dancing! Though I was kinda questioning their dance that went coincidentally with the rain? It’s perfectly hard to dance with that weather. Could it be like this movie is trying to tell us like “it’s good to dance even if we’re having the “rain” in our life? Nah, I’m just exaggerating in this one.

Friendships always require mutual understanding and mostly respect, in all angles I believe. We may not have the same interests but somehow, we should be mindful of our friend’s sake rather than our own. It’s not the camaraderie that measures everything; it’s the perceptive idea knowing that friends reside in our hearts and not on parties, discotheques or any gatherings. And one thing to make a perfect friendship is accepting them for who they are, and not for what we expect them to be.

Forrest Gump


“Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you’re gonna get”. Forrest Gump is a simpleton who made tons of achievements in life, deprived of intelligence but is pure of heart. But how? I can’t be mean to this movie, I love it and I have proven that it doesn’t need an amount of intelligence or power in this world to be successful and happy in life. We all just need to try things and mostly, be responsible in our actions. From being such a good son who always listen to her mom, an awarded soldier from the Vietnam war, and loving only one woman in his life, this made Forrest an amazing character in this movie. But, can anyone be like Forrest in real life? Anyone can.

It’s unimaginable to think sometimes you will always be surrounded by good people in your life. It could be tough as well if you were put into war and witnessed violence without suffering post traumatic disorder afterwards. He became a sports personality, a businessman, devoted to a woman since childhood, and still content to mow the grass in his home. Very few people he loved, loads of feats, but few miseries. Guess the only pain he battled is when his jenny left him for awhile and he ran for years.

I never get tired watching this movie. All I can see from this flick is the sincerity of a man, with no ill-intentions to anyone and anything, but just doing things as it is and as demanded, following orders and doing what his heart desire. I also have my own box of chocolates, and all I can say is that I tried most of them and experienced different flavors. I got some bitter and sour-taste chocolates, but whatever what’s in the fillings, it’s still chocolate for me. I know I will never ran-out of chocolate in my life.

Legends of the Fall


One of my unforgettable Brad Pitt and Anthony Hopkins film, very remarkable movie it is but Oscarless...ah no, they got 1 I think. But, is this what will really happen if all brothers fell in love with the same woman and suddenly things turned out like hell? Goodness gracious the father didn’t desire her too. I guess he sanely reserved himself seeing an ugly future this woman will bring into their home, knowing his sons went gaga after meeting this lady. Ok, from the eldest and very responsible but nobody’s favorite Alfred, the wild, long-haired Tristan who happens to be everyone’s apple of the eye (including a little indian girl who eventually became his wife), and lastly ET’s ex-best friend Samuel, the smart but naïve. The brotherhood of Ludlows were tested in war, torned by passion and guilt, then later ended-up when the most favorite was ripped-off by a bear.

Tagline: “After the Fall from Innocence the Legend Begins”. Fall of innocence from the brutality of war when they almost lose their sanity? Or sanity was loosened already when they met susanah even before going to war? Ok maybe they’re all insane since birth and they were put together to see how cruel life is when you’re too emotionally attached to almost everyone. But what made Tristan so favorite? From the father, the youngest ludlow, susanah, and the two-decker Indian…they all love him. Tristan is fearless. From cutting off a bear’s claw when he was young, cut open his dead brother’s chest, and lately broke his big brother’s heart when he won susanah’s heart. What a man he is! Or was.

All of us aren’t just tested on failed relationships, a loss of people we love, nor from the horrors of violence we experienced, but the test continues as we moved-on with our life after dealing with these. From the very first heartache to the last date we had, we are still running our own legend. It may be hard sometimes but an unexpected “Fall” is always a ladder to a new chapter of legend, not a loss of innocence but a rebirth indeed.

Not all unfortunate endings are really sad as it seems. It may not have a good ending, but it made a good story, a good legend.

The Mummy 3: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor


Tai won gui mummies?! Ok, this is 3rd installment of this mummy-kissing-rick-o'connells-ass flick. But who is this @$#% new chick who replaced evelyn? *Sobs* uh ok...but wait, Michelle Yeow my favorite though-kinda-old-but-still-look-gorgeous-to-me starred here! Whoa! Something new? Ah yes, the little boy alex, rick and evelyn's only son is now a grown-up man and already made his testosterone yacking on a beautiful chinese babe. Whatever. The usual stuff, dusty mummies again but this time it’s Asian…Chinese mummies!

Tagline: “A New Evil Awakens”. Or could be “A New Evil from the great wall who was cursed because he can't understand sanskrit Awakens”. This emperor is really powerful, cruel, but I guess his folks invested more by sending him to military schools to be tough enough and forgot to throw a glimpse on language learning center. Ok enough on my kvetching. My favorite scene here is when Zi Juan (Michelle Yeoh) pushed herself to the emperor's sword and died eventually just to grab the spear in his waist. Even before that, she sacrificed her and her daughter's immortality to those mandarin speaking gods to bring those old enemies of the emperor back to life to join the battle, and make the battle more dusty. Sweet. Too much sacrifices but how come she was tagged earlier as a witch?

This Zi Juan character I admire reflected not just love by sacrificing her life, but also a complete trust to those people she fought with, the O'Connell's and her daughter. Knowing that even without her, they can possibly defeat this verrrry bad mummy-transforming-beast emperor. I think she already read the family's resume even before making sacrifices and she was completely impressed…like a multinational CEO hiring a friendless, straight A college grad.

Can't wait for the next latin-speaking mummies!

The Mummy Returns


I find this movie so very family, a dad and mom with their little boy, plus an annoying uncle of the kid and look, they were able to survive all the curses casted on them by this bald-resurrected imhotep priest. Was it luck? Or they're just too fit as a family team to successfully defeat these supernatural beings because of the unfading love they have for each other? Yeah it’s just a movie but imagine if there could be things like that. Well anyway, what i enjoyed perfectly in this flick is when Evelyn gave Anck Su Namun a head-butt during their fight and the latter found it kinda new. I never liked the scorpion king effects and stuff, I always prefer mano e mano fight, so natural.

The tagline for this movie is "The most powerful force on earth is about to be unleashed by the two people who should know better." It made sense to me. Imhotep and his lover Anck Su Namun reincarnated themselves to start a new series of stupidity in the world and yet they failed several times. Saddest part is, Anck left Imhotep hanging on his death only to find herself fall and be eaten by those highly stimulated and creepy bugs who gets into your skin. One thing that puzzled me was the battle between humans and the mummy scorpions. When the latter disappeared in an instant as they are to collide, no one sneezed nor coughed! C'mon it’s a very dusty fight, someone should have those dust entered their nostrils and sneezed, or choked as well.

Ok, maybe sneezing and coughing aren't good idea for movies like this. But it should be. Eve from Wall-E sneezed when they ran from the sand storm, and she's a robot!